Epilogue to a Heart Song

In this moment,

At this crucial junction

Words fail me.

All the letters and syllables form, bubble and boil

Fueled by the roiling cross-current of emotions

Vacillating within from my innermost where they uncoil

Angry,

Upset,

Morose,

Inconsolable,

Frustrated,

Sad,

Pitiful…

But mostly sad

Mostly…

In this moment

At this crucial junction

Emotions fail me.

Each consumed with consuming each other

While the gentler ones try to fade to the background

Away from the cacophony

Created by a few simple words your lips air-mailed to me

And those letters, those syllables

Sparked off a storm of such magnitude as to leave me in a state of

Unanimated

Uninspired

Unproductive

Unresponsive

Non-creative state of barely existing.

In this moment

At this crucial junction

I fail me

I stand, I sit, I lie

I kneel on one knee waiting….

Waiting to see if the other knee will drop to match my slowly hanging

Head in defeat.

The wall that I’d meticulously laboured to bring down

Is slowly being rebuilt.

Not with the purpose of shutting me out,

But rather to keep you in

And the window that you placed there,

I recall fondly,

As the first ever break in that fortress solely for me.

So you could hear my love song in poetry

Played out over your soul’s melody

Doesn’t even appear

You’re rebuilding with care, slowly

Because you still want what should have been, to be

A love steeped in music of long walks

Of sniffs and sniffs

And sister, honey girls

Do you remember?

A love formed of friendship

Solidified in that there were a lot of firsts between we two

This too bring happy thoughts

And thoughts not just of love but of desire

To hell with a spark we had a fire,

Damn near an inferno,

Flaring to life every time either walked into a room

Eyes meeting with warmth like long lost mates

And I would smell you

Nesting the scent that would make me drown in you

And you in me

As I pluck the strings of your lifebeat

Your heartbeat pacing your flood

As sour souls meet

With sweat

And heat

Till my very last drip

And you revel in that you have done,

And have gotten what no other woman

Have or ever will…

But still…

In this moment

At this crucial junction….

Glen Toussaint 2012 ©