Angry Chinese Man (Spirit of Chupidniss 2)

*read with the corniest Chinese accent you remember*

I ah come-ah hea too set-ah tings straight

I am perturbed by yoo peepol

Aand I wont to air my issues

Issue numba 1!

Yes! We are many but

We are not-ah rats!

We are not-ah pygmy!

We are not-ah rabbit!

And we are not-ah cockaroaches!!!

Issue numba 2!!

Yoo!

Yes yoo!

Yoo eva see us eat-ah ratta???

Yoo eva see us eat-ah dog???

We eat rice and cabbage dammit!!!!

Issue numba 3!!!

We only have cheap shit

Because yoo WANT cheap shit!!

We give you cheap shit and you still want DISCOUNT yoo nuff self!!!!

Issue numba 4!!!!

My name is Li Jang Wong

Not Bruce Lee, Jet Li, or Jackie frickin Chan

And NO I don’t know Kung Fu

But I will Kung Fu your ass if you push me!!!

Issue numba 5!!!!!

Iz most sensitive issue

My wife’s wife is vertical, yoo ass, not horizontal

And even if I know how to use my head

I don’t need to put it in her ***** to make her scream

I have a whole 3inches I know how to use!!!

I am sick and tired of yoo peepol

But I’ve gotten revenge

How, yoo ask?

We help with your weight problem

Heh heh ehheheheheheheh

TEN DOLLA NANCY GLORY TO GO BRUCE LEE!!!!!!!!

Glen Toussaint 2011©