Conversation: She Said:

She Said:

Babes.

Let’s talk for a little ‘bout what we don’t talk about a lot

I’ve noticed how you’ve taken to avoiding my eyes

Hardly returning my smiles

Your hands hardly touching my thighs

Your cold shoulder in the colder bed frequently console me when I cry

And when I try

Oh baby when I try to ask a question

Or THE question you ACT shy

Or are you being for real

See it’s been more than six days; six months; six years

But who’s counting… fo’ real

Remember when you used to speak with that strength,

Never bluffing?

Baby those whispered sweet nothings actually did mean something

They really did mean something

Cause your talk was never cheap

Especially when it came to me

At least that’s what you said once upon a time

When love was the life line betwixt the two of us…

That umbilical cord converting I’s into We

When you proclaimed your complexity was simply sweet simplicity

You remember that?

 Baby?

Baby are you even listening

You used to hang on my every word

And your voice when you sang beneath the brave stars of the twilight

Was the best I’ve ever heard

Surpassing the nightingale in full flight

Now your hands in repose unprepared for the fight

Your eyes flung so far away

Am I even in your line of sight

Baby let’s talk a lot on what we’ve spoken of so little

If we’ve spoken at all

Your winter has changed my summer into fall

And I’m left wondering

Should I have even bothered at all?

What is it that I’ve done wrong?

Have I not given enough?

Was I not wife enough?

Was I not Woman Enough?

Freaky enough

Sexy, Smart or loving enough?

Should I just give it up

Resign myself to a war lost

Cut my losses and move on

Regardless of the cost

As hard a thing as it is to do

With all my years entwined in you

It’s a monumental possibility

This actuality I’ll acquit

I’ll quit this state of limbo

Hanging on to this crumbling rock

Buffeted by your ebb and flow like the tide

Waiting on you to decide

 Or have you decided already

And you’re just toying with me

Angry is not how I want to feel

Rather, safe and loved wrapped up in your arms still

Has the love we shared, in this Savage Garden, died?

Has what we laboured so hard to build faded into

Black and white images

Only to be preserved as footnotes

In the corner of pages

Adding weight to poetic phrases

So that others examining these stages

Can look and sound like sages

 Despite what I have said

It’s not that easy just walking away

Maybe its all in my head

I’ve given all that I can give

More than my fair share

But I’m here

Beside you right now

Waiting

Waiting and wanting to see more than a broad back

And eyes that have gone black

Needing

To hear you draw breath

To see you part lips

And say….

…Baby?

Glen Toussaint 2012©